Uhhhhhh Don’t Mind Me

1.1 3136888 hyeguy03’s Xanga Site hyeguy03 TheArmenian777@hotmail.com hyeguy03 hyeguy03 TheArmenian777@hotmail.com  hyeguy03Thu, 03 Mar 2011 20:39:24 -05:00 <![CDATA[

I found out today that all my factory warranties are expired. I can’t get my car fixed at no cost to myself. So the plan is to get it towed to the dealership tomorrow and diagnose the problem. If it’s the fuel FILTER, then it will come out to 200 and something dollars. If it’s the pump, it will be over 400. So I’m a little worried about how I’m gonna pay for it. But, it has to be done. I can’t do anything but accept the outcome. Boo.

Also, I’m resigned as to whatever happens with Daniel and I. I truly think he and I would be happy with each other. But I’m content being his friend, if that’s what we decide.

I don’t care to make this a long post. I’m kind of tired this afternoon. And still I have to go to rehearsal at 6:30 and it goes until 9PM. Goodness gracious. I love opera and all, but I’m not going to lie… I’m tired of going to rehearsals all the time. There’s only two weeks left, and I’m gonna focus on how much I enjoy the process rather than the pitfalls. I think being an accompanist is hard work. Harder than most people think. When we all arrive at rehearsals, it’s expected of me that I’m going to practically know the music on the first day. Vocalists get months to work on pieces, or at least these ones do. They aren’t professionals, therefore I can’t expect them to know the music right away. But it does get frustrating sometimes having to play certain parts over and over again. And some people aren’t all that qualified to be in the chorus, which is unfortunate.

At any rate, I hope that by the weekend I’ll have my car situation resolved. That will take a load of stress off of me. Also, it’s been two days of my attempt to drink NO soda at all. I’m not even cutting back. The goal is to never drink a soft drink again. I would love to get in shape by summer and I think that cutting soda out would be a great idea to help me accomplish that goal. =)

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Plain and simple: My car broke down last night.

I’m on the way home from opera rehearsal in the midst of an intense conversation and wham! bam! I’m decelerating quicker than I can jam the gas pedal to the floor. No warning. No nothing. Just on the side of the road… trying to maintain this conversation which was more important to me than gold… and my stomach is churning. I’m thinking… “Goddamnit! I’m talking here!” Thinking… “How ironic that I just mentioned to my mom how I can’t find my AAA card last night.” Thinking… “FML, my car probably smells like a cigarette.”

So I stay on the line with Daniel (who was featured in yesterday’s post) for as long as I possibly can. Finally, I have to call my dad. I call AAA after I had located an expired AAA card in my glove box. My dad’s on his way to my cig-scented car (which has been airing out). AAA is sending a tow. Long story short (too late) I’m now parked out front of my home with a car(that didn’t smell apparently) that SOUNDS like it’s lacking gas.

Tomorrow, I’m ensuring that my warranty is $0 deductible AND 100,000 miles or until August 2013 AND that my fuel pump (which is the prime suspect) is covered. Once that is finalized, I’m getting another tow to the dealership… and getting that sucker fixed (and hopefully for free).

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Tonight has been fun. My mom made Italian Wedding Soup. Win. I love it. It’s tasty and I’m going to get obese. Maybe I’ll walk to Starbucks.

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I haven’t blogged in forever… but fuck my life do I have some things to get off my heart.

I just got broken up with on Friday. From someone who I love… still.

It hurts. There’s a mess of emotions I’m going through. Pain. Depression. Anger. Relief? Optimism?

Pain because this is a man that I’ve exchanged the elusive L-word with. Not “lesbian” hah. No, Love is what it was. Supposedly we love(d) each other. I don’t speak those words lightly. There many a close friend and even family that I haven’t loved. I don’t just get a boyfriend (in the first place) and then gratuitously say I love them (in the second place.) Pain because we got so close that it seems incredibly difficult to just disassociate myself with things that consistently remind me of him. My sunglasses remind me of him. My chapstick reminds me of him. My clothes remind me of him. This bracelet around my wrist that he made me constantly reminds me of him. Not getting texts throughout the day reminds me of him. Not skyping every night reminds me of him. This fucking tea place where I’m sitting to write this blog reminds me of him. The town I’m moving to in the fall reminds me of him. Fuck.

Depression… or maybe just sadness is more appropriate. Sadness because I feel like there was so much potential. So many things left unsaid. So many chances that were lost. Goddamn… I sound so emo. Well, I am right now! And I’m confused because I feel like his logic in the situation isn’t entirely all there. He says he feels nothing… but I feel like he misses me in the things he says. Well, I KNOW he does, because he’s said he does. What does that mean? Is there potential to get back together?

Anger, because why did we go straight to breaking up? Couldn’t we have talked about these issues first. I’m angry because I feel that he’s not giving this relationship a chance. Angry because he’s taking some incidents out of their typical scenario and making judgements about my personality based on situations outside the norm. My anger is minimal though. I can’t even stay angry at him. I just want so much for us to talk and make things better. We were happy in the beginning, were we not?

Relief… no. Why would I be relieved? Because now I don’t have to put out any effort to make a relationship with him work? This is exactly the kind of work I long to embark upon.

Optimism…. I don’t know. We’ve been talking a lot today. I’m letting it all out. I don’t have anything to lose by telling him exactly how I’m feeling. Maybe my reservedness to react to things when we were dating is what caused him to not feel any “head over heels” passion. How the hell do I know? I don’t have high hopes of getting back together. But he seems just as confused as I am… and who knows what the conversations of the day may bring about. I’m hurting inside… and I’m not yet ready to close off all avenues of healing. I’m totally still in a mindset of wanting him to take me back.

But I have too much pride to CONVINCE anyone to date me. I deserve someone who will love me without reserve. Someone who takes the good days with the bad. The boring days with the adventurous. Someone who takes me for the complex person I am. I’m a Gemini for crying out loud! There’s so much to my personality. Good luck uncovering all it’s facets. What sucks is that I see the amazing potential in this guy that I’ve come to care for so intensely. I see the harmony that our lives could create. If he doesn’t… then there’s nothing I can do but resign myself to not pursuing a relationship with him and attempting to create a stable friendship… without constantly wishing for more. A healthy friendship would be better than nothing. Wouldn’t it?

All doors are open for me.

Let’s find out about his.

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This entry is dedicated to Meghan Powers. She is a phenomenal friend. There have been so many good times. What can I say about her? Well, to start with, she is one fine woman. She has the hottest emo-est hair. The most intense eyes (second only to mine). And her body, well, let’s just say that gay and straight men fight over this piece of woman-flesh. haha.

You know what else? She plays violin. She’s amazing! She rach(s) the -maninoff… haha… get it? ok fine. but she does. Yeah, she’s gonna be famous. And I know her.

Other than being ridiculously good looking, she’s practically perfect in every way.

Table 13, forever!! I love you puffymuffin.

hehe

]]> 2007-03-01 01:28:17 2007-03-01 06:28:17 open Publish post 573739443  1 2007-03-01 16:20:00 2007-03-01 21:20:00 p3punk03 bounce@xanga.comhttp://p3punk03.xanga.com/ 0 1282857 0 1288722679  hyeguy03 Mon, 11 Dec 2006 20:52:11 -05:00 <![CDATA[

Today, I was thinking about relationships. I don’t need to tell the whole story, but what it boils down to is that, in a relationship, there’s no need to dwell on the past. For example, if I get with someone who slept with someone else in the past, I shouldn’t be jealous. It’s the past. A relationship is a new beginning. A new start as ONE couple. There’s no need to sit and discuss who slept with who. Or which people you fooled around with in the past. Because, first of all, there no need to know. A relationship is built on trust. If you trust your partner, there’s no need to know his/her past flings. You TRUST that person to be faithful to you.

HOWEVER…

If at some point in a relationship the question comes up if you’ve done something with a particular person, don’t lie! Because once THAT is found out then it lessens the trust. While trust is very important, honesty is just as important, if not more. Be honest with your partner or spouse. If you are asked, have you done something with this person in the past, do NOT be afraid to say “yes” if you have. Because Love reaches around and doesn’t think on the past. This is where trust and honesty walk hand in hand. You TRUST your partner to love you when you are HONEST with him/her.

Anyway, that’s where my mind was going today.

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It’s 1AM. I’m tired. I’m in a bad mood. I hate this 3 hour time difference. I hate that we are so far apart… and not only physically.

The piano is sitting to my left, beckoning for me to come pour out how I’m feeling. Too bad everyone is asleep here.

I worked out tonight and it was wonderful. Then Amanda called and invited me to Denny’s. So I just had a salad. Why ruin what I’m working so hard to maintain?

I’m going to bed. I have a concert tomorrow (today, really) and opera rehearsal.

Sous le dome epais
ou le blanc jasmin
a la rose s’assemble
sur la rive em fleurs
riant au matin
viens, descendons ensemble.
Doucement glissons:
de son flot charmant
suivons le courant fuyant
dans l’onde fremissante.
D’une main nonchalante,
viens, gagnons le bord,
ou la source dort
et l’oiseau chante.
Sous le dome epais,
sous le blanc jasmin,
ah! descendons ensemble!

]]> 2006-12-07 04:11:13 2006-12-07 09:11:13 open Publish post 553739823  1 2006-12-08 11:45:00 2006-12-08 16:45:00 Taroten bounce@xanga.com http://taroten.xanga.com/ 0 6861427 0 1247934100

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I’m walking on sun… what?

Sunscreen?

Suntan?

Sunburn?!

Almost every summer to date I’ve become massively sunburned at some point. Yes, I’m very fair-skinned and it’s hard to avoid getting some kind of redness without taking proper care of my skin in the sun. This summer I’m trying my best to achieve a relatively nice tan considering how white I am at any given time. With that in mind, I’m going to talk about the products I use.

Let’s start with the product on the far left: Equate SPF 30 Spray-on Sunscreen. You can buy it for $5 bucks off of Wal-Mart’s website. So it’s fairly affordable, and that’s a perk. SPF 30 is a good option as well. It’s low enough to let SOME sun through, but strong enough to keep the skin cancer out. And oh my gosh, the spray-on factor is so convenient! But I won’t be buying it again, and here’s why: It runs out far too quickly. I mean, yeah, 5 bucks for a weeks long use of sunscreen could be worse, but I use sunscreen daily when I go on walks and bike rides. I can’t be running out all willy nilly.

The middle option: Banana Boat Deep Tanning SPF 8 Sunscreen. I love this product. I bought it when I was in southern California and I was searching for a product that would help facilitate healthy tanning. The sales associate, gave me the advice that she had experienced some bad skin burning and irritation with a product I was holding and she recommended the Banana Boat. It’s SPF 8, a lot lower than the spray sunscreen. But even with re-application, I STILL have some left in the bottle. It’s lasting forever. This is my sunscreen of choice this summer. Oh and the price is comparable to the Equate spray. Especially, because of how far this sunscreen goes. And I might add, it smells much better. Makes me want a drink. =)

I use the last product as a supplement to the Banana Boat: Hawaiian Tropics Dark Tanning Oil. If there’s a product that lasts forever, this is it. The first time I used it, I thought I was going to run out the same day. It felt like I was squeezing the whole bottle of oil into my hand. But no, it lasts foreeeeeeeeeeevvvvvvvvvveeeeeeerrrrrrrrr. And I mentioned how the Banana Boat smelled, and this ALSO smells delicious. I don’t recommend eating it, but goodness, it smells amazing. =) I don’t remember how much this cost, but because I love it so much, that part is kind of moot. A+ product.

And now the part that you all (may or may not) have been waiting for! How’s my tan, thus far? Well, for being as white as I was to start with, it’s going very good. My swimsuit is kind of skimpy, and my tan lines are extremely crisp. I’m about to head back down to sunny beach land within the week, so I’ll hopefully get some darker results and post some pictures! At any rate, if you’re looking for some optimum product, try these ones out! Or test your own and tell me what you use!

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Heat and Smiles

Ok, so the days have become exponentially warmer. Today is only 99 degrees, but the past two days have been 104 and 105 degree heat. This isn’t a problem for me. I certainly don’t find the heat insufferable. HOWEVER. Part of my workout is riding my bike 20 miles every other day, which in 104 degree heat might as well be a walk in the Sahara with only my sweat glands to keep me company. No thanks. Early morning or late nights is what it will have to be from here on out. So I set out at 7:30 AM for my bike ride and yet, by the time I made it home the temperature had already climbed to 82. Good grief.

It’s kind of nice to ride in the morning. There’s fewer people on the trail at the time which is nice, because I’m not forced to dodge and weave amongst soccer moms with strollers. And I don’t have to contend with hoodlum kids on their low-ridaz bikes. Hah! When I rode this morning, I found myself feeling relieved that I was getting it over with early on, instead of having to think “Oh, I still have that bike ride later.”

On top of that, I was feeling a little extra congenial this morning. And there’s a lot to be said for a smile. I pass a lot of people on the trail who are different than I am, and who are in all kinds of shape, and who are all kinds of ages. Today I passed an Indian (not Native American) woman who was walking, and she didn’t look unhappy to start with. But the minute I flashed her a smile as I rode past, she returned it. And others on the trail sharing an acknowledging nod or even the rare “Good morning” (which I admit is mostly rare because I’m blasting some music through my iPod). I found myself in thought for part of the ride, that a simple smile can brighten a day for even an instant. Don’t be a downer.

Did you know that if you type in any date on Wikipedia that it will give you all sorts of information about special events, births, deaths, and holidays that land on that particular day? Well, you can.

And on that note, today is the Catholic Church’s feast day for Marie of Oignies. You can visit her shrine in Belgium. Isn’t that just the most interesting thing you’ve ever heard?

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It’s a bottle! It’s a fountain! Nope… It’s a Water Box

I went to the grocery store the other day because my family was out of water bottles. I have this mental conundrum about drinking water from bottles. To start with, they are so convenient. For one thing, they are portable. Duh. Yes, there are other re-usable bottles that are portable (and I have a few of those) but my problem lies in the size. The reusable ones are only good for filling with water, and lots of it. The plastic bottles of water come in the size I need. The 16.9 fluid ounce bottles are what I normally get, especially because the size of those water bottles corresponds with the Arizona Tea powder I get to mix with it; one packet is used for one bottle of water. I could easily get used to the idea of not drinking the water/Arizona tea mixture if it weren’t for the fact that it’s a 0 calorie alternative to a good tasting beverage. Why is everything so complicated?!

Anyway, I try very hard to buy and use as few plastic water bottles as possible because I want to be environmentally conscious in addition to drinking clean and convenient water. Mind you I drink a ton of water. I’m a virtual camel when it comes to putting the good ol’ H2O away.

So back to me at the grocery store. I’m standing there pondering my options when something catches my eye. It’s called H20 Box. And it’s water. In a box. You can have your own personal water box. Not like wine in a box. It’s more like a juice box, except… water. Look.

Ok. It’s pure water. That’s one point for this drink.

It’s made from 70% paper. And it’s recyclable. I can drink this with a clear conscience! Halleloo! Two points now!

It’s 16.9 fluid ounces. I haven’t tried but I’m willing to bet that I could still pour a packet of that stupid tea powder into the box and shake it up, just like a plastic bottle. Three points!

Here’s the problem. It wasn’t very inexpensive. It was about $1.75 for this one water box. That’s half the price of getting 24 plastic water bottles. Damn.

Well, enough with the label. Let me drink it and make sure it’s good.

 

**gulp gulp gulp**

 

Well. It tastes like water.  Good. Refreshing. The usual. Now I just have to come to terms with whether I wanna spend a grip of money on one blasted box of water. Like I said, I drink a lot!! Oh well. I’ll keep you posted.

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My Letter to the Editor (that hasn’t been published… yet)

Here is a letter that was in the Sunday edition of The Fresno Bee:

“Perhaps someone can help me understand why our governor and attorney general believe the vote of the people is meaningless on Proposition 8, but believe it should be used as a mandate for tax extensions.

Jim Hanson
Hanford”

We’ll see if my response is printed. Here it is:

“I’d be happy to help illuminate at least one portion of Jim Hanson’s query (Re: Letter Sunday, May 8, 2011). While it is indeed adorable to use the phrase “the vote of the people” in order to arouse democratic sentiment, it is entirely misplaced in the arena of human rights. “The vote of the people” sometimes referred to as “the will of the majority” has no appropriate business in determining human rights, especially in regard to withholding social justice from a minority group, which is exactly what took place with Proposition 8. Put simply, the majority has no grounds to vote away rights of any minority. To quote a sign that used to hang in my Sunday school classroom: “What is popular, is not always right.”

Michael Antaramian
Clovis”

Tonight I played the callback audition for Les Miserables School Edition. It really can be a thankless job sometimes. It’s expected of me to play well and be the best in my field. So, when I meet those expectations, people just go about business as usual. If I were to majorly screw up, then yes, people would notice and say something. But as long as I perform at, or above, expectations for my position… there are times when people hardly seem to notice. Not that I need constant affirmation that I’m doing a fantastic job. But sometimes, every now and then, it’s reassuring to know that I’ve still got it. Haha

For you’re listening pleasure tonight, Maksim Mrvica and his interpretation of Rimsky-Korsakov’s “The Flight of the Bumblebee”

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Some goals. And some seaweed.

Today is the 3rd of May and as I lay here looking around my room in thought, I’ve decided that a key to reaching goals is to first assess what my goals are.

For this month, my main goal is to continue P90X. I’ve  done good so far (four days in) but I know that I’ll lose steam. I hope that by tracking my progress, especially through this blog, I will stay on target! On that note, today was Yoga… didn’t do it. I switched to the Plyometrics video instead. I don’t care. I hate yoga; plyometrics is harder anyway. Also this month, my goal is to survive the final weeks of this school year. I’m probably more excited than the students, that summer vacation is imminent.

For the next six months: Same as above with the workout regimen. After 90 days, I want to restart and keep up a noble effort to stay fit and pleased with my health and appearance. My goal is also to have my car loan, visa card, and student loan paid in full. I will be out of debt in six months, or less more than likely. START SAVING! Because…..

For the next year: …. I’m going to move to southern California. I’ve been hesitant to announce this because I was afraid I’d fail and end up looking stupid to all my friends. But the bottom line, is that I want to move my fit and financially-ready self down there and start up in a place that feels like home. If I could live on the beach, I would.

There’s some goals. Let’s get ’em!

“Seaweed?” you ask. Yes.

While it may not be the newest food item on the market, I’ve been reading up on seaweed as a snack item. Here’s what it looks like:

It’s quite tasty. I was skeptical. I thought it might taste like I was biting into the ocean or something. But no, it was delicious and not as salty as you expect and it has a roasty nutty flavor. Quite enjoyable. =) Get it at Trader Joe’s!

What I’d like to find now are some kale chips that I’ve read are pretty healthy for you, also. Kale is a form of cabbage. I know… weird foods. But I wanna try!!

Now check out The Pipettes!

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Day 3, and my legs are like noodles.

I’ve restarted the P90X workout again. Today was Day 3, if you haven’t already gathered. Arms and Shoulders with Ab Ripper X. This is probably one of the more enjoyable ones, because I like feeling the burn in my arms. It makes me feel like I’m actually accomplishing something. And there’s a lot of weight lifting (or resistance bands in my case) which gets to be hard after a certain number of reps, but I like that my entire body isn’t wasted by the end of the workout. Yesterday, however, was a completely different story. After walking to Starbucks in the morning, a “to and fro” accumulation of 5 miles, I clicked onto my workout and decided to hit up Day 2…. Plyo X. For those of you who don’t know much about plyometrics, it’s a workout bases on rapid muscle movement incorporating jumps, lunges, and squats. Not to mention, you’re encouraged to land lightly after jumps, like a cat. Normally, this isn’t too much of a problem. I mean, I’ll end up in a sweat and I’ll be exhausted and ready to drink an ocean of freshwater, yeah. But after that 5 miles for coffee, Plyo X kicked my ass. I got through about 2/3 of the video and was done. Just plain done. My legs have been sore all day. I’m walking around like an old man who’s legs have seen better days dancing the Charleston in 1920.

Getting in shape: Yes

Dying in the process: No

But it’s ok! Because tomorrow is Yoga. And I absolutely LOATHE the yoga workout. I will do anything to avoid this day. So my plan is as follows: Do a half hour of Yoga, easy peasy (it’s not easy, though) and then redo the entire Plyo X workout.

Maybe I’ll write more about Yoga tomorrow.

In other news, I’ve been stumbling a lot lately. StumbleUpon is becoming easier to use now that I downloaded the app on my iPhone. Which, by the way, I bet you didn’t know…. I got an iPhone 4!!! This app has made me realize… animals are freaking adorable sometimes. Which in turn prompts me to list my top 4 favorites.

1. Seahorse (hands down it’s not debatable. They are amazing and cute and there are so many varieties I just don’t know what to do with myself!)

2. Owls (Wisdom. blah, but beyond that, I like that they come in all shapes and sizes, and that they remain kind of mysterious being creatures of the night. Don’t agree? I don’t give a hoot. aha aha get it? )

3. Giraffe (Grace. Beauty. Elegance. Enough said.)

4. Penguins (and Puffins actually…. I like them all. Those waddly, cute beaked, swimmin’ birds! And you know what’s cool? They live in all climates, from frozen lands to tropics)

What’s your favorite animal??

Here have a video. I kinda love this song.

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